Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Feeling Better

I think, maybe, knock on virtual wood, I'm starting to get my EPI under control! I'm still having symptoms every day but they are manageable. I've even gained three pounds. Today I was 108 pounds! Part of me hates to see the scale go up, but I know it needs to. I remember having these exact SAME struggles after my Whipple. I think I was just about 100 pounds when I got out of the hospital. Oh yeah, I was HOT! No boobs. No butt. Nothing. Sexy lady!! Even so, watching the scale go up was hard, and it is now.

But what I am reminding myself is every pound means ENERGY and POWER and STRENGTH!

Still struggling a little with appetite, but I do have a small one. So that's cool. I now have to watch NOT to over-stuff myself thinking "Got to gain! Got to gain! Whee! I can eat ALL THE CANDY IN THE WORLD!"

Not that I did that.


I just finished a delicious bowl of congee, which I love. But to get started was a challenge and I could have just as easily not eaten. I find my food has to really be whiz-bang if I am going to eat it. No mindless eating for me any more, which is a good thing! That doesn't mean I don't. Roy has been bringing home too much candy and I will still put it into my mouth, but I don't really mindlessly eat otherwise.

Today I have to turn in my letter resigning half of my job for the school year next year and I'm dreading it. Part of me feels like "You should suck it up! It's going to cost money and you aren't worth that much as it is!"

But part of me says, "No amount of money is worth the exhaustion you feel 2/3 of the year!"

I feel great the first few weeks, then Fall hits and it's rough up until cold Winter weather sits in and stays cold and clear so February is usually okay. Then in comes March and out like lion and maybe I'm good in May when we get that "Look at what Summer is going to be like..." weather and then rain rain rain. So really, most of the year. Not even 2/3, more like 4/5. I've had a BAD migraine the last three days. Today is only a 6.5 so it's the best day. Yeah. You work with a level 6.5 on the pain scale and that's a good day. (Not NORMALLY a good day, but my baseline is about a 5.)

The congee helps, at least.

Thankful that it isn't this bad every day and that my digestive system is calming at least somewhat.

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