Crazy...I'm slowly going crazy. I've been seeing a therapist now for a few months and it's actually helping, but there are times like this week where I feel like taking a long walk off a short pier. It's just a crazy, nutso time.
I was in San Diego this weekend and it was heaven. I ran the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon. It was a challenge, but it was a good challenge. It was a challenge for my feet because I have a touch of plantar fasciitis in my left foot, but I finished with a super strong last mile. I passed 26 people, in fact, in my last mile. I was slow...over six hours. Part of it was because I'm slow and undertrained, but over 20 minutes was due to stopping to help some poor guy who was suffering from horrible cramps. I saw him go down and went over to help. I had some Biofreeze so I had him sit and rubbed his leg until the cramp subsided, and talked to him about his fuel. He'd not been fueling correctly (obviously). I told him he needed salt and he'd be able to finish and explained what was happening. That kind of thing makes me feel so good. Fortunately First Aid came along. We had him take two salt packets and he felt like a new man. I walked with him for awhile and Rose found me. I told him to grab two more packets at the next station and that he really needed fuel not just Gatorade. (I gave him a gel but he almost threw up...they are an acquired taste.) I hope he was able to finish and it was worth it to have a slow finish.
Anyhow, just those two days felt so good. My headache was light. Stress was light. Roy and I were together and having fun. I am young and felt young and then we got home. It was raining here and my headache came back. I felt ten years older. I went to work the next day with a pounding headache and felt so exhausted all day. I hate it. I'm Just So Tired of it! Pain just sucks the life out of me! I have, I hope, at least another 40 years to live and the idea of living it feeling like this all the time is so bleak.
I used to be such an up person and I just want that person back. I want to feel like I have all the time in the world ahead of me to try and do new things. I want to set new goals and feel assured I will reach them. I HATE THIS BODY SO MUCH!