I wish I could clearly communicate what it feels like to have this brain pain. Sometimes there is pressure, sometimes there are tingles (almost feels like my brain is vibrating), usually my ears ring (but they aren't today, and really it's only one ear...maybe it's aliens trying to communicate), often my ears feel like they are "hot" and not in a good way. Today it's my ice cream headache where it feels like just after the spike in the ice cream headache when it still hurts but not as bad as the spike. So it's like the feeling never really goes away.
I didn't take any pain meds today, just some excedrin because I don't have any more refills and I don't want rebound headaches. It's also the end of the school year and we have summer school starting next week. I'm the IT person (and a teacher, I wear BOTH capes, 'cause I'm cool like Fonzie) and that means I have to have all computer labs ready to rumble. Unfortunately since I lost some of my memory last year I am flying blind on how to do this. Our school burned down a few years back and we didn't have summer school for awhile. Last year was the first time in years, and I am sure I set it up...who else would have? Unfortunately I literally have no memory of it. I did find an email that I sent out with usernames and passwords, so obviously I did it. I remember things I have done a lot before the brain explosion, quite well. In fact while I was in the middle of the short term memory issues where I would sometimes forget what I was doing while I was doing it, I could teach concepts I've been teaching for years. (It helps that my curricula is super-organized and I write it all myself). But if I had to do something new, I'd read about it before lecture, have it bookmarked on a computer, and ta da I'd totally forget it. Or math...that was fun. I would try to do math and my brain for a few months, could not do basic math. I am told I once argued with a student that 5+2 was 9. I learned to just laugh it off, say "Sorry! Brain damage!" and move on. It would hurt too much to force it.
I don't know whether I should feel proud that I do get so much done with the brain pain, or if I should slow down. I guess my worry is that if I slow down I am giving in. I mean I'm 48 years old. I take excellent care of myself (I lost 100 pounds and I've kept it off for 10 years). I could live another 51 years (since my husband is aware that I fully plan to live to be 99 and then I'll reassess my life plans). Do I want to "slow down" when I'm barely halfway through my life? Hell to the NO! So I keep going. Today I managed a few things:
- I got dressed. I know you're jealous of my accomplishments.
- I went to work as a teacher (I teach high school IT classes).
- I did not kill any children. Parents tend to frown on that.
- I managed to set up the user accounts for summer school.
- I set up the menu for week one of clean eating (first week school is out).
- I taught a kick-ass bootcamp, although I couldn't participate all the way.
- I donated a small amount to Hands for Baby Jameson. Check out Hector Picard's page and be prepared to be awed. What an amazing man.
- I wrote this blog post. Well I'm writing this blog post.
So back to the ice cream. Today's headache is brought to you by Ben and Jerry and the letter 7, which is about the pain level I have been dealing with most of the day. So where is my ice cream?